Long time, no post

Hello folks! It’s been a while. First, thank you to everyone who commented on the last post. Second, how excited are you about fall? Although I can’t partake in my usual fall activities (high heel boots, pumpkin spice lattes) because of the baby, I’m still hyped about my favorite season.

Not only does fall bring the changing leaves and cool weather, this fall marks my
30th birthday! My day was spent at work doing payroll, but my sweet husband slipped a card under my pillow before I woke up. He got me a MAC giftcard, which is huge because he hates when I wear makeup. My parents, grandmother, aunts, and cousins had taken us out to celebrate the Saturday before-my little brother and I are a week apart, so the dinner was for us both. We went to see Taken 2 on Columbus Day, and I got cake at work the day after payroll…and that was pretty much all of my birthday festivities. Do I feel any different? Not really. My world didn’t spontaneously combust at the moment I turned thirty, like so many twenty-somethings think. I’ve been trying to be more responsible though-more disciplined in my spending, actually paying down the debt I’ve been bsing about paying for so long, being more loving and patient with my family…just trying to be a better, more mature version of myself. I think having kids has definitely contributed to that. I want to be a good example. I want to be able to give them a yard to play in and their own bedrooms, and I can’t do that with debt hanging over me. After all these years of talking about it, I’m finally going to be about it.

In other news, I’m super excited about homecoming. Compared to other schools, our homecoming is pretty wack. We don’t even have a football team anymore (homecoming is basketball season now), but I’ll be glad to see my old friends and show off my big round baby belly, lol.

And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for: Baby G the Sequel!

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Me and my belly

Our little BOY is due in March!

As I type this,…

As I type this, I’m sitting on the bus home from work. I honestly have no time to blog anymore. Between leaving the house at 7:30 every morning, heading off to work a full day, trying to catch a nap on the ride home, spending time with the baby and hubby, and trying to squeeze in dinner, I barely have the energy to do much else.

As I type this, most of my financial worries are taken care of. My student loan payment has been lowered to $5, all because I made on time payments for nine months. I have another payment plan in place for my other loans and our phone and electricity bills are paid. We even got insurance! God is good.

As I type this, I’m reflecting on the journey life has taken me on. I am a wife, a mother, a decent cook, and a pretty good friend. I am gearing up for homecoming in November, and my 30th birthday. Most importantly, we will be blessed with a new baby in 2013.

As I type this, I’m thinking of how blessed we are to see another day, despite its challenges. My cousin was murdered in Trinidad last month. He leaves behind three children, and hadn’t even made his 30th birthday yet. Life is so precious. It can be gone in seconds, yet we take it for granted.

Be grateful for your blessings, no matter how small. Be thankful, even when it seems there’s nothing to be thankful for. I’m thankful for each of you who read here and have become good friends. I’m thankful to have met some of you in person, spoken with you on the phone or Skype, or found on facebook. Peace and love to each of you.

Random Stuff

First off, shouts and prayers go out to MrsTDJ and the entire TDJ family. If you haven’t already, please go show her some love as she deals with the loss of her beloved husband. 

Our family is going through some things, but we’re going to be alright. I started beasting with my resume, and got a few calls for interviews. Then on Monday, one of the recruiters at a temp agency (she has been sending me on interviews and submitting my resume like crazy for a while now) called with an opportunity for me. As of yesterday, I’ve been doing temp work at a big movie/electronic company…your TV might be one of their products. While it’s not the ideal job for me, it’s a paycheck and could eventually become permanent. I’ll be able to earn enough to make student loan payments, pay bills, and keep my son in the finest linen. I’m so thankful for this job, as uninteresting as it may be.

Lil’ man has begun standing on his own. Walking? That’s another story. He’ll use his push toy to walk across the apartment. He’ll hold one  of my hands, then one finger, and then revert to crawling. For a boy who seemed so averse to crawling in the first place, he sure seems like he’s going to stick with it now. 

It just so happens that this temp job puts me right in the heart of NYC. Right near Express, H&M, Loft, NY & Co, Fendi, Louis Vuitton, Armani…all that stuff. Too bad I haven’t gained back all the weight I lost, and still look like a pre-teen. NY&Co had a great sale going on, and I thought I would be able to get some work things. No dice. Until I put on another 10-15lbs, even the extra small is still extra huge on me. Story of my life. 

AND I’m skinny fat. My belly has been commented on by my grandmother, mother, and husband, and I don’t like the way it looks. I might have to put that baby belly binder thing that I used after giving birth. Or exercise. 

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta? Sadly, I got hooked. Along with Design Star, Hell’s Kitchen, and Cold Case. 

I hate the new Boost mobile commercial. The one with the genie who used to be on The Parenthood and in that movie Couples Retreat? Yeah, that one. Hate it. 

Mommy blogging wasn’t really my thing, but I do have a pretty poppin’ mommy group on facebook. I’m glad that other new moms have a place to vent, ask questions, and just talk to other people who know exactly what they’re going through. 

Ok, I’ve run out of random stuff to update y’all on. Until next time!

Frustrated.

I won’t have to choose between the hour commute and the 15 minute walk to work, because I didn’t get either job. After sending a follow up email with a list of feedback from employees at my last position, I got a phone call from the Generalist job and an email from the Specialist job. The Generalist position was narrowed down to 4 candidates, but the offer was made to someone else. The Specialist position was such a hard decision because they thought I was “the sweetest person” and “everyone really liked” me, but they chose someone with more experience. 

Honestly, I cried. I thought for sure I would get at least one of these jobs. Hell, I thought I would have had to choose between both, because I just knew I was going to get an offer. This is a real shot to my confidence. On top of that, I’m just frustrated. I keep going on interviews, thinking they went so well…and then no job. Or my coordinator at the temp agency will say that the interviewers loved me, the position is a great fit for me…and still no job. It’s frustrating to keep getting my hopes up. 

It’s frustrating to have a small child who I can’t really provide for. It’s frustrating to still be receiving unemployment for a over a year. It’s frustrating to go for government help, only to be told that because you receive unemployment, you’re simply not poor enough. It’s frustrating to be paying almost $500 a month in student loans. Even though we aren’t starving, it’s hard trying to pretend both of us aren’t worried. It’s frustrating that we had coverage when we went to the doctor, but since our coverage was retroactively canceled, we are now responsible for the bills that insurance should have covered. It’s frustrating to hear my husband on the phone with the union who took his dues every month, but now can’t seem to do anything for him. 

I know this isn’t the end. I know that eventually, we’ll both get jobs that will make all of my frustrations go away. I know that this is “a test of our faith” and that we need to “cry out to God.” I know that “something will come along,” that we just “need to trust God,” and that “weeping only endures for a night.” I know all of that. But I’m still just so damn frustrated. 

I’m starting t…

I’m starting to get discouraged about this whole job thing. I had second interviews for each of the positions, and thought that they went really well. I dazzled the interviewers with my wit and follow up questions. The CEO loved my answers and even bought me a cookie. I was told that I’d be hearing from them. So…why haven’t I heard anything from either company either way? I’m trying to stay positive. How could I not get either one? Should I wait a few more days before getting worried?

It’s a Party

His first birthday party was a success! 

Despite the early weather reports, we had great weather. We ran around all morning picking up appetizers, food that had been prepared, drinks, and propane for the grill. When our first guests arrived, I was in the shower, lol. We had a good turnout, and more little kids than I anticipated. I almost wished I had gotten a pinata, but I hate the violence that ensues over candy.

People started arriving around 2:00, right when the birthday boy woke from his nap. He went to EVERYONE, without crying, and gave them that little koala bear clutch that babies do. He sat quietly without twisting and turning, like he does with me and his dad. He even wore a party hat–which is crazy because he hates anything on his head. Or feet.

Our guests were well fed, with buffalo wings, fruit, veggies and dip; green salad, potato salad, salmon burgers, turkey burgers, rice and peas, stew chicken, curry chicken, and mac n’ cheese. We cut the cake and let him stick his hand in it. He couldn’t decide what to do next and just clutched the icing in his hand. Cake and homemade ambrosia were our dessert. I was proud that everyone loved the ambrosia, even though I hadn’t put any marshmallows in it. 

Hubby’s man friends gathered in the basement to watch the Knicks/Heat game as everyone was leaving. After the game, we rode to the hospital to see my father in law (fluid on the lungs. Again.), and then came back for leftovers and more ambrosia. 

All in all, we had a great time…and my mother in law said this party has renewed her love for entertaining (even after all the work that had to be done) and she wants to have another party this summer.

A Tale of Two Jobs

Last week I had a second interview for an HR Specialist position. That same day, I had a first interview for an HR Generalist position. Both hiring managers have called me in for a follow up interview. I thought that I really wanted the Specialist position, but now I’m torn.

Here are the specs: the Specialist position is with a start up type of company. They’ve worked with some pretty cool brands, including Oprah. They got to MEET OPRAH. The job seems fast paced, is with a young crowd, and is similar to the company where I last worked (company happy hours, company wide meetings). They use a payroll system I know like the back of my hand. The office is about an hour from my house, and the pay is in a range I’m comfortable with. The next steps are meeting with the Hr Director, CFO, and CEO. I think it’s between me and 2 other candidates.

The Generalist position is a more established company. They recently acquired another firm and have a ton of employees, the most I’ve ever worked with. They use a rather dated payroll system, but I’d only be double checking payroll. The hours are from 8:30-5:30, but I can walk to work. The company has room for growth–within a year or two, I could move into the HR Manager/Director role. They’d also be willing to pay for me to become certified, which is huge in this industry. While I’m one of 5 candidates in the running, I’m told I’m in the top. 

So here’s my problem. While neither company has made me an offer yet, I can’t decide which would be a better place for me. I’m looking to take my career to the next level, and the Generalist position seems like it would be better for that. However, I feel like I might become bored in the job. The Specialist position is a young, fun place to be, and the pay’s about 10k higher. I don’t know if I’d have room to negotiate a higher salary with the Generalist position, because the manager told me what his budget is. If they start me at the top of his budget, it’s still about 5k more than I made in my last position. So help me out, guys. Which seems like the better option?

Long time, no p…

Long time, no post. I haven’t felt like publicly posting about much these days. We are dealing with some family issues, employment issues, just plain…issues. Here’s a post from my more personal journal, just a taste of what’s been going on while I’ve been gone.

 

 I’m feeling like isht today.

Saturday, we traveled to Philly for my godson’s birthday party. We arrived late, after the cake had been cut and people were just hanging out. My son took to his godmommy, not wanting to move from her chest. I sat in a kid sized chair, at his eye level. When he reached for me, I held out my arms…and fell backwards…and watched him slip out of my arms and onto the hardwood floor.

His mouth was bleeding. His forehead had a bump. He was screaming and I was shaking. How could I have dropped him? Why didn’t that mother instinct kick in where I would have clutched him to me and fallen in a way that would have allowed me to shield him?

We took him to the hospital (without insurance). I was scared they would take him from us and label us negligent parents. They checked his vital signs, looked at his busted lip and the knot on his head, and gave us some ointment to help heal it. 

He’s back to his normal sunny self, but I feel terrible and have been replaying it in my mind. 

Black and Married

It’s been a while since my last post. Life got in the way.

I’ve started planning for my son’s first birthday party. I can’t believe he’s been here for almost a year. I can’t believe I have a baby, period.

I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a mommy blog. It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while now. I feel like maybe God is prodding me to start it, and there are some other (business) ideas that came to mind when I first started thinking about it. Although, how would I really keep up another blog when I barely post here?

Hubby and I got away for the weekend. We celebrated Black Marriage Day in 2 cities. Virginia hosted a day of workshops and a panel discussion, featuring Kindred the Family Soul. I’ve you’ve ever met us, you’d know that we are HUGE Kindred fans. It was awesome to actually get to speak with them (and take a picture!)Image

The panel featured couples in the artistic field (African dance and drumming, rap, acting, R&B, soul), discussing their relationships and family structure. We were also witness to a wonderful proposal that made me tear up and my husband jump up. People were shouting and clapping and  crying. Black love, y’all. Black love!

After the conference, we headed over to Maryland to watch a new film, “Still Standing,” from the creators of Black and Married With Kids, Lamar and Ronnie Tyler. The film was great (even though I fell asleep. It’s a 6 hour drive to VA!), and we got the DVD. It’s about different couples and the challenges that they’ve faced. Through it all, their marriages are still standing.

It was a great weekend. We had some intense discussions about marriage-what are the benefits? does it help you to reach your full potential?-and our future as a family. The entire weekend was a platform for us both to grow as a couple and a family unit. If Black Marriage Day is celebrated in your area, I encourage you to be a part! You don’t even have to be married–at our conference there were married, divorced, engaged, and dating couples. The purpose is to learn and grow. Check out Black Marriage Day for more information.

A Product Review…

Hubs went a program at BAM this week, where they just so happened to be giving out free samples of Miss Jessie’s. Why they were giving out hair products a t a program on black fatherhood, I’ll never figure out, but he brought home a bag. I had been wanting to try their stuff for a while, but refused to make the financial commitment–I hate spending money to try a product and then realizing I hate it.

I’m so glad that I didn’t actually buy Super Slip Sudsy Shampoo, because I’d be upset. It’s supposed to be the best detangling shampoo for curls. It’s supposed to be ultra moisturizing. It’s supposed to have a green apple scent. Two out of three ain’t bad. I can usually comb through my hair without much trouble when it’s saturated with water. I thought this shampoo might make the process a little easier, but no dice.  To be quite honest, I feel like this shampoo made my hair even more tangled. It was a fight to wrestle the comb through my hair, and I gave myself a headache trying to. When I felt my hair after  shampooing, it felt like a dry, waxy, paper bag. It did smell nice, though.

Super Slip Sudsy Shampoo gets a “meh” from me. I wouldn’t use it again–I prefer Suave’s almond and shea butter shampoo for moisture. I’ve got 2 more products from the swag bag…a deep conditioner that I’m supposed to leave on for 30 minutes (like that’s gonna happen) and some curly meringue that has gotten rave reviews. I’ll let you know what I think if/when I try them out.

I really want to like their stuff, because their products seem to work well for kinky, curly hair. I’m still trying to figure out what my natural hair likes (after 9 months), what makes it shiny and moisturized, and how to keep it looking cute on a daily basis. Right now it grows up instead of out or down. I’m tired of having to rely on other people to take care of MY hair. Hopefully, I’ll find the right product or mix of products soon.