it just gets worse.

The temp agency hasn’t found me another assignment yet.

My old supervisor called and asked me to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

My veins are tiny and it took about 4 tries to get the blood flowing for my glucose test.

I’ve officially been diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

I haven’t told my husband yet because I know he’s going to pitch a fit and blame me. I know I have to say something, but I’m tired of feeling like I’m a bad mother.

I can no longer have the kind of birth I want. The birthing center won’t do my prenatal care anymore.

I hate hospitals.

I told my parents I was thinking about having a home birth and my mother told me I was talking foolishness and making a joke out of it.

I do not want to have my baby at a hospital. I hate needles. I don’t want pitocin or an epidural or a c-section.

I feel so unprepared for my son’s arrival. His room isn’t ready. His clothes aren’t washed. We don’t even have his crib yet, and the light in his room still doesn’t work.

My excitement for my shower is diminished. I just want the baby to be here and for everyone to go away.




3 thoughts on “it just gets worse.

  1. Why the hellz do they way you to sign a non-dislclosure agreement and you were a temp employee?? That’s something they ask high level managers/execs to sign when they leave a company. They on that bullshit.

    I would tell my supervisor, how much money are we talking to sign it?? Otherwise they could kiss my ass.

    They know they are foul and FRAUD which is why they are asking you to sign it, after the fact. They should have done that on the front end when they were onboarding you. That’s what I had to do for my plantation when I started here.

  2. You’re NOT a bad mother, so get that out of your head now. Gestational diabetes isn’t your fault, your body is processing things differently right now, nothing to blame yourself for.

    Just because you go to the hospital doesn’t mean that you have to have drugs or a c-section. I would much prefer a home birth or birthing center but that hasn’t even been an option for me because my doctor told me from day 1 that I won’t be going past 38 weeks. Roll with the punches and just keep smiling. You both will be alright in the end 🙂

    Let me allow you to feel a little more accomplished: my baby doesn’t even have a room or clothes yet, lol! If he came tomorrow he would be sleeping in the dining room in our empty fish tank and wearing the bath robe Tiffany in Houston sent him for Christmas.

    Relax Diva! Don’t let other people’s expectations get your worked up right now, you are doing just fine.

  3. Woo woo woo!

    Tell those bastids to kiss ur ass on the non disclosure. They shoulda thought of that!

    Tell ur husband to kiss ur ass if he fusses at you. You are growing life inside of you and doing the best you can!

    Take ur ass to the hospital and have that baby! It truly isn’t that bad. They run it like a hotel. After two days you are out and none of it even matters. Seriously, it’s not that big of a deal and there is SO MUCH BLOOD you really don’t want that in your home. There will be SO MUCH BLOOD anyway, but it’s way worse the first couple of days. It’s like a crime scene. For real.

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