Old People=Mean People

So…let me get this straight. The older you get, the more likely you are to say whatever pops into your head with no regard?

My grandmother turned 80 this January. Since that point, she has agreed that my cousin is “stupid”, asked me if I am pregnant, shamed me for not going to church, called a gift from someone ugly; told me that vegetarians are prone to grey hairs, asked me if I am a Muslim, told me that Muslims kill people, and has looked at my big, fat, stomach in disgust. Oh, and that was all on Saturday.

I truly wonder what goes through her mind when she says these things. How does she connect the dots and figure that since I have a nose ring, I must be a Muslim? “Oh, so you got another one. In your nose now?” “Yes Grandma.” “So are you a Muslim now?” “No Grandma, but I do like some of their principles.” (I knew that would bother her) “What principles?” “Well, I like that they pray five times a day.” “And kill people ten times a day.” “Oh, boy. And what if I did become a Muslim? I could go to the mosque with Aunt Aneesha.’ “Then I would have to pray. Pray and fast.” And then she wonders why I’ve started “rebelling” against going to church.

I’ve basically been raised in the church. Service on Sunday, choir rehearsal with my mom on Thursday s, youth service and choir practice on Fridays, special programs on Saturdays. In all honesty, I’m tired of going to church. Tired of hearing the people on the train tell me that Jesus is coming and I’d better do something before he gets here. Tired of hearing about all these pastors who solicit prostitutes, turn over children to be married, or beat their wives. I’m tired of Christianity-not tired of God mind you, just tired of all the foolishness that goes along with it. I’m tired of people expecting me to behave a certain way because my grandmother’s a reverend. I think that’s why I’m doing the things I’ve been doing-growing my hair, piercing my nose, etc. I’m just sick of the whole charade.

Oh, and I can’t wait until I’m old. So I can “sass” people and get away with it.

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