August 12, 2008...4:21 pm

Fire & Brimstone

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According to my grandmother, I’m headed to Hell. The joke’s on you Grandma! I’ve already been to Hell. It’s in Grand Cayman. Anyway, I’m headed to Hell. All because going to church bores the snot out of me. I haven’t been to my “home” church since Mother’s Day. Every single time our pastor preaches, I got to sleep, without fail. There are speakers who hold my attention, but he isn’t one of them. Start off with a story at least. I already have a touch of ADD, do something to capture my interest. So, because I don’t attend church anymore, I’m going to have to reckon with Jesus.

Now, I thought a person’s personal relationship with God was what mattered. Not going to church. Doesn’t the Bible say something about two or three gathering in His name? So can’t that two or three include me, Joel Osteen, and the TV? I’ve been made to go to church every Sunday since I came into this world…but now I’m destined for the fiery realm because I haven’t been to church since May. Technically, I have gone to church. It just hasn’t been for Sunday service. I like having my Sundays to myself. But since I’m going to Hell, I guess I better start showing up at church more often.

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